Rant.

I feel srsly crappy.
I'm a lonely, fat, poor and depressed insomniac.
Yeah, everything's gonna be fine.
Go fuck yourselves everybody.
I ain't gonna make it through Samhain...

Yea i'm a stupid fat emofag so stfu, ok?
Fuck, I'm so fuckin pissed. I rly need someone to talk to and sort of vent out my feelings somehow... I want to cut so bad. It's like the self-loathing has no end... :/

My stomach hurts like hell. Too much sugarfree stuff (damn you aspartam or whatever you are!)... :( Well, at least I don't feel like bingeing anymore... Actually I feel more like purging... Might help a bit with the stomach pain. Or make it worse and make my throat hurt too.
...Crap. Maybe it'd just be better to go to sleep and try to live more healthy tomorrow... I want some salad. I'm sick of all the fattening stuff mom's making me... Rice, bread, chicken, cheese soup... She puts cream in basically everything she does. And you can see its effect on her. -_-' Sadly my mother is my best reverse thinspo. Just... eww.

Ouch, ouch, ouch..

Ok, imma gonna go sleep nao.
Hopefully I'll get some money for the snakebites soon... I want em so baaaaddd...

Cut my wrists and black my eyes

I want to be skinny and pretty like her. :( I also like her hair ridiculously much.. I think I should dye mine as well... I'm still not sure about the colors though... Black and pink would be awesome. Or black and purple. Or blonde and aqua... Too many choices! D: Maybe I'll just go rainbow...

I went for an one hour walk a while back, and bought some diet energy drink from the store on my way back.. Still haven't eaten anything but one sugarfree dental drop... :D Well, now two. 8)

It's weird how I still have the urge to cut myself, although I feel completely fine and cheery... o.O It's sort of an addiction, a habit... It's really hard to let go of it. And i'm not even sure if I want to.

I was thinkin about weird stuff when I was walking home.
-If I was a boy, I'd want my name to be Benjamin.
-I'm way too critical about the ones I love. I always see theil faults and sometimes fail to see that they do what they do because of me... Like my mother making me eat... I quess she's just worried after all.
-I want to go totally emo again. I need a new wardrobe, I need to sell some of my old crappy clothes to make room for black skinny jeans and print t-shirts. 8)
-I still need to lose at least 10 kilograms
-I want some piercings! D:< Snakebites would be soooo awesome... too bad I don't have any money. And I don't have the guts to do it myself. :D
-I need to start writing more. :o And drawing. Since they're my favorite things to do! I don't get why I don't spend more time doing the things i LIKE.

Hi guys!

New here. Or actually not. But kinda new to writing in English. I've been writing pretty much in finnish, which is my native language... So forgive me if my english sucks really bad or smth...

I'm sorta emo-ish girl... I like art, cats and stuff  like that. I go to the gym and hang out with my friends. But I, too, have my problems. I broke up with my bf of 2 years last summer, and haven't really gotten over it... I've suffered of Borderline personality disorder (including self harm and eating disordered behaviour) for years... Which kinda sucks, really.

I live by myself at Hyvinkää, but my mum drops by quite often. She always makes me eat like a pig, but otherwise she's just great. :)

So, this is me in a nutshell.

I hope to someday be a fashion designer or an artist... Since visual arts is is the only thing I'm good at... I really don't think I can do anything else.